He finally made his move and popped the question! Ring in hand and on bended knee, he seemed sincere and the bride-to-be was ecstatic! One year, two year, even three…what is taking so long to actually get hitched?
Perhaps Mr. & Mrs. To-Be are saving up for an elaborate wedding. Maybe, someone is waiting for that big promotion at work. Or is a big dream house at the top of the priority list? Although these are all valid reasons, a big wedding, fancier job title or new address does not dictate how happy you will be once you say “I Do.”
If these reasons are holding you back from marital bliss you may be under the spell of what I refer to as “the extended contract.” An “extended contract” is what some men do to keep their significant other around longer without actually jumping the broom. In other words, it’s a game to keep you quiet and buy them some more time in bachelor town.
If the reason for your “extended contract” is financial, ask yourself is it really that important? Fancy weddings are nice but if you don’t have it then you just don’t have it.
Recently, a couple who works at Wendy’s, yes – as in the hamburger and fries joint, tied the knot at work on their one year anniversary. The couple said that their “Wendy’s wedding” made for a special day within their budget. Their ceremony was free and the entire wedding party enjoyed complimentary hamburger and fries.
They even clocked back in after the service and enjoyed working together for the first time as husband and wife. My point – if you really want to get married you will make it work even if it means getting married unconventionally.
Sometimes money and status have absolutely nothing to do with getting married. Did he do you wrong and perhaps this engagement is his way of saying “sorry?” Did you give him an ultimatum and tell him you are “not going to wait forever.” If that is the case, then such proposals are nothing more than “extended contracts” to keep you quiet a little while longer.
He may be guilty of buying time but women are just as guilty for pressuring their mate and making them feel like an engagement is the answer. We all know somebody who has been engaged going on a damn decade! Hopefully, this person is not you.
Don’t be a victim of the “extended contract.” Look for these 3 warning signs.
No wedding date. He constantly puts off any conversations about the date you will become man and wife.
Co-habituating. You have been living with each other for an extended period of time and he knows you want to get married. (How are you going to get married if you are playing house?)
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! – If it’s not one thing, it’s another. He tells you to wait until he gets his raise, promotion, income tax refund check or the kids get a little older.
When it’s right, it’s right. Putting it off for two, three or more years has me wondering, how right it really is if you are willing to wait that long.