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Like most black families, spanking or getting a “whooping” is sometimes par for the course. We likely all have those moments where we explicitly remember some of our worst beatings, revisiting them with a laugh at family reunions or during the Holidays. For Ryan Michelle Bathe and Sterling K. Brown, they’ve opted out of spanking their children Amaré, 3, and Andrew, 8, and the reason just might shock you.

In an interview with PEOPLE, Bathe revealed her painful experiences around the issue. “I have been beaten for staying up late doing homework that I left to the last minute, not washing dishes, talking back, sticking my tongue out at my cousin, breaking a flower pot . . . and many other infractions that I can’t even remember. I can remember crying while nursing my welts after being whipped and hearing, ‘Stop crying or I’ll really give you something to cry about’.

So what changed the First Wives Club star’s mind? “I was exposed to articles about discipline and the science around corporal punishment. It rocked me to my core… Research shows that corporal punishment is highly questionable at best, and by no means is it the best way to discipline a child at all, according to science,” she continued. “The good news is that my husband and I are in agreement about corporal punishment.” She adds, “So we continue forward. Praying for guidance. Hoping that love will be enough.”

Regardless of your feelings on the subject (most experts say spanking doesn’t benefit kids in any way), one thing we definitely know for sure is they will do what’s best for their kids and their family. Remember this beautiful moment last year?

TELL US: What is your stance on punishing your kids?

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