Mailbag Monday: Am I Doomed To Be Alone

Dear Darling Nikki,

OK. Maybe this is weird to ask a columnist, but here goes. I am a 40 y/o Male Nurse Practitioner, and an educator. I have been told I am a nice looking guy. I make great money, house is paid off, 2009 Jeep is paid off, I invest, I save, I mentor, and I’m a single father. I am D/D free (Drug and Disease Free).  I don’t smoke, and I drink lightly, maybe wine, oh yeah and I am divorced. My issue is I am starting to date more and the common thread I hear is “I am not good enough for you, why would you want me” I have dated women that make 50K+, business owners, White, Black, and Mexican. What do I do and where do I go? I am not a club person, I have tried blackpeoplemeet.com to no avail. I never bring up money, and I don’t push the places I may frequent because I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable

(neimans/saks).  Am I doomed to spend life alone?

Signed

Duke1972

 

Dear Duke1972,

You sound like you got it GOING ON!  You should have posted a picture because I have tons of single, beautiful girlfriends that I would LOVE to HOOK you UP WITH!!!!!  You are what I call a “BMW” (Black Man Working).  Sounds like you have a career and are established.  Congratulations on having your life together.  Not everyone can say that- #TRUETALK

It’s interesting that you say that all the women you meet say “I am not good enough for you, why would you want me?”  You are a single woman’s dream (you have a career, steady income, a home, and are drug and disease free and LOOKING for a RELATIONSHIP).  I don’t understand a woman not being  attracted to ALL that since all we hear is how hard it is to find a “BMW.”

What’s the REAL DEAL Duke1972? In our society, it’s OK, even expected, for the man to be established so I don’t understand a woman being turned off by that.  You must be meeting some real low lifes, bottom-of-the-barrel types that think they don’t deserve a good man.

The fact that you are divorced and are a single father is not a deterrent, in my book.  The fact that you were MARRIED shows that you are willing to commit.  I would much rather date a divorcee who is a single father then a baby daddy who has tons of kids to different women.  I’m just saying!!!!! #REALTALK  LADIES:  Don’t sleep on the divorced man, he might be more willing to commit than someone who has never been married.

You say you are a “single father.”  Does that mean that the child or children live with you?  Either way I applaud you because too many Black men don’t take their job as a father serious and it sounds like you do but perhaps the women don’t want to date a man with kids?

I think it is smart that you have not brought up places that you frequent like Neimans or SAKS because you might come off like a bragger or name dropper and nobody wants that.  Also, I think you are right in your assessment to say naming such places may make some people uncomfortable.  REMEMBER: People who have money or are comfortable don’t feel the need to brag about it and or name drop labels, stores, etc.

Hmmmm… blackpeoplemeet.com.  I don’t know about that!?!#*  Maybe you should try a more established dating website?

I also think you should continue to get out and DATE.  The right lady is out there, one who will love you and all you have to offer.  Be thankful that the chicks you have met walked away and didn’t take you and your pockets for a ride.  #REALTALK

SUGGESTION:  Since you mention Neiman and SAKS, next time you’re in there, take a gander in the ladies section or the ladies shoe department. GREAT PLACE TO MEET WOMEN.   Strike up a conversation with a woman (don’t forget to check her hand for a ring) and more than likely the caliber will be different then the ones you have encountered.  Do this at your favorite spots and you might just get lucky!

Your NOT doomed but you don’t want to be desperate either.  Take your time to find the right one and in the meantime just do you.

If that doesn’t work, EMAIL me  (darlingnikkispeaks@gmail.com) YOUR PHOTO.  I got some girlfriends that are single and ready to mingle!

Signed,

Darling Nikki

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