Dear Darling Nikki,
I’ve been talking to this guy for four years. He has yet to mention us with any titles but he said he is about me but I’m not too sure. It seems like the obvious to up and move on but it’s hard because I love him. I tried to give him some time but hell he has had more than enough time and I feel as if he is taking advantage of me. What to do?
Fool In Love
Dear Fool In Love,
Four years and NO TITLE is a long time. I am assuming that this means that he does not refer to you as his girlfriend, wifey or significant other. What about friend? After four years what do you want?
If you have NO TITLE than you are free to date other men. You don’t have to throw it in his face but how can he get mad? In your letter you said he says he “is all about you” but you are “not too sure.” So he too could very well be seeing other people. Think about it – especially if you are not sure! Go with your gut. It’s called WOMEN’S INTUITION and 9 times out of 10 its right on target.
I understand that you love him but what’s wrong with seeing what else is out there? I’ll tell you – NOTHING IS WRONG WITH IT. You can have friends and you never know, you might meet somebody that you like even more.
What does he do for you that is keeping you around for four years with NO TITLE? No titles are cool if you two agree on it but in your case it seems very one-sided. Is he paying your bills? Is he servicing your needs? If his skills are wack in the bedroom and you feel used and are not getting anything in return you already know the answer- KEEP IT MOVING. If his skills are above average but he can’t come to terms with giving you the TITLE you want and desire then keep him around (if you want) just for that but keep dating. MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME! (Just protect yourself EACH and EVERY time)
I can understand your feelings of him taking “advantage” of you and without me knowing the entire story it’s hard to say but it is looking that way. FOUR YEARS is a long time to wait for a title, if you want one. It would probably take him a century to propose.
I know it sounds harsh to keep him around on bedroom skill level conditions but men do it all the time! I definitely think with NO TITLE in sight you should see what else is out there. You never know, he may come around when he actually thinks you are going somewhere. And if not, NEXT! Time to move on.
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