Getting Engaged After Graduation is a Bad Idea

As I watched my niece Dana walk the stage and receive her high school diploma a few short days ago, I couldn’t help but reminisce about all the wonder years she has ahead of her.  College, parties, dating, even heartbreak and hopefully a rewarding career, true love and children. I pray she takes her time and enjoys the journey.   But, if she got engaged right after college would it be too soon?

There’s a big trend these days and it involves walking across the stage to receive your college diploma with a shiny diamond ring on your hand.  I’m not hating on true love but I’m not sure If I’m convinced that’s the best decision. Whether your college days are long behind you or you’re on the brink of sending your own kids to school, what’s your take on settling down as soon as you get your real freedom?

Life expert DeAnna Lorraine specializes in relationships and has been featured on Good Morning America and Rachel Ray. Nicknamed “Ms. Hitch”, DeAnna has a knack for helping women and men find love says a graduation engagement is a definite don’t.

I had the opportunity to talk to “Ms. Hitch” who further explained her “CAP & FROWN” theory.

Darling Nikki:     What’s the deal with all the graduation proposals?

Ms. Hitch:           It’s a trend! I’m not raining on their parade- I’m definitely not trying to do that.  
I just want people to think smart.

Ms. Hitch:    There’s lots of hype, emotions and stress leading up to one’s college graduation and all of that could lead people to rash decisions based from emotions before they’re really ready.

Darling Nikki:   In my parent’s day you went to college and found a husband. Is that not true anymore?

Ms. Hitch:         I am an advocate of true love.  What I’m concerned about is longevity. Most of these couples are divorced by the time their 35.



Ms. Hitch:    What I’ve seen in my practice is there is a period after college about growth. 
I recommend dating a lot.  Learn what your deal breakers are.  You miss all of that getting married right after graduation.

Darling Nikki:      What if you meet “the one” in college? How do you hold on to true love?

Ms. Hitch:    I would say take a temporary break so you are not attached at the hip. Take a mature look at your relationship and set your boundaries (Example: Date other people within allotted boundaries such as no sex, etc.).  If the person is right for you, you will know.  A temporary breaking period might do the trick.  After graduation, one needs time to adjust and you are not necessarily your best self.  You need time to settle in.

My conversation with “Ms. Hitched” got me to thinking about my own graduation days and the guys I thought I couldn’t live without it.  Wrong!  In high school, there was *Alex who would later show his blonde hair and blue eyes at my historically black college.

Senior year, I was all about *Avery, the fraternity boy who sweep me off my feet when I vowed to concentrate on my studies.  He showed up to my big day with a big blue teddy bear when my classmates were getting diamond engagement rings.  With that said, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that he never proposed and if he did, I would probably be miserable or divorced by now because my tastes have changed drastically.

So with that said, in my opinion, there is much truth in “Ms. Hitch’s” CAP & FROWN theory.  Besides, we’ve all heard the phrase about “letting the bird go” and if it “flies back to you, it’s yours.”

But if you don’t agree and feel you missed out on the love of your life after graduation, you can always reconnect on Facebook.  If it’s meant to be, it will be.

TELL US:  Do you believe in “Ms. Hitch’s” CAP & FROWN theory?

*Names have been changed

(The views contained herein are solely the views of their respective authors, and do not express the views of TV One. TV One does not take responsibility for their content.)

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