Mailbag Monday: Is a Threesome, Really a Crowd?

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Dear Darling Nikki,

I love my man dearly and our sex life is out of this world BUT he keeps hinting that he wants a threesome. 

I have thought about it but I’m not quite sure what’s all involved.  We have talked about the “rules,” which include she receives no oral from him and he must use a condom but I’m not so sure I could handle seeing my man having sex with someone else.  If I don’t grant him this wish, will he leave me? Will he have a threesome behind my back? What if having sex with the “other” woman is better?

Help!

CONFUSED_69

Dear CONFUSED_69:

First and foremost, if you decide to have a threesome with your man you have to be CONFIDENT.  You have to know you are DA BOMB meaning you are the BEST. You know your skills and NO ONE can take that away from you. 

If you’re going in to this activity doubting yourself, doubting your skills and doubting your man’s true intentions then I would say it’s a DON’T!

Threesomes are VERY personal, but believe you me, it’s nothing new and has been going on since the beginning of time.

Wanting to please your partner is the #1 reason women agree to participate, and #2 is curiosity, although, sometimes CURIOSITY KILLS the CAT or in this instance – the relationship.  Both of those reasons are NOT big enough in my book.  I’m just saying….

You should agree to a three-some only if YOU truly want to do it.  If it is to solely satisfy your sexual appetite NOT your man’s, then I say go for it.  This is the only way you can participate, enjoy yourself and not feel like you did something you really didn’t want to do.  If you are contemplating a threesome for other reasons (like just to keep HIM happy) I say hold off and go with your gut.

From the sound of your letter, it sounds like you really don’t have a clue what goes on.  I suggest renting an adult film so you can TRULY understand what goes on and IF you feel comfortable and want to experience that for yourself then do you.

I wouldn’t be giving true advice if I didn’t add that if you do decide to participate in a three-some you must be MATURE about it.  The fact that you and your man have discussed “rules” is impressive but that list needs to be a lot longer.  Know exactly what you are getting yourself into before you decide to take  THAT plunge.

I can’t answer if he will go ahead and have one without you- that’s where the word “trust” in a relationship should come in.

On the flipside, would your partner be open to seeing you with another man?  Ask yourself, what are you REALLY getting out the deal other than fulfilling HIS wish? 

-Darling Nikki

Got a question of the heart that needs a REAL answer?  Get to typing because your letter just might be answered by yours truly – Darling Nikki.

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