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Gabrielle Union has made it no secret that she and husband Dwyane Wade have struggled to get pregnant, but she recently revealed the intimate details of their failed IVF struggles. In an exclusive excerpt from her new book, We’re Going To Need More Wine, PEOPLE learns just how much the couple has been through and the heartbreaking story around her multiple miscarriages.

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“I have had eight or nine miscarriage, for three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.”

The 44-year-old says that before marrying Wade she never thought she’d want to have kids.

“I never wanted kids, then I became a stepmom, and there was no place I’d rather be than with them.”

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And as far as the rumors that she’s pregnant, the actress reveals just how much she’s affected by them and the constant question about the couple’s plans to conceive, from both friends and family.

“Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she says. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”

Just a heads up, if you’ve asked a woman when she’s going to have kids, let this be a lesson that it may not be that easy.

We’re Going To Need More Wine is available everywhere October 17.

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