by Kwin Mosby
February 14, 2017
From social mixers to apps, we understand how dating nowadays can be a stressful time-suck. And sometimes it may feel like the pool of sane, eligible Black bachelors has all, but dried up. Trust and believe… they are out there!
Look… it’s no secret that some Black women show no shame in crushing on celebrities such as Ryan Gosling, Adam Rodriquez, the Hemsworth brothers (Chris and Liam), Channing Tatum and Milo Ventimiglia. So why not expand your dating horizons? What do you have to lose? We ARE hoping for the best, but we thought we’d pull together five “red flag” scenarios to look out for when diving into the interracial game of dating.
1. Your Date is a “Black” Perpetrator
If your non-black date shows up “acting” Black by wearing a doo rag, using lines from “Straight Outta Compton” in regular conversation, and just overall frontin’ to impress you with the little bit of knowledge he may have about your culture –press pause, please. He definitely won’t be the right one for you.
2. He Asks You To Speak “Jive”
Yep, we’ve all seen it before, where men have fetishized Black women. We suggest cutting a date short and or kill plans for a second date if he asks you to cook him some soul food, asks you to speak “jive,” and/or comments on your voluptuous curves in a very suggestive manner. Let’s be real, he’s blocking your blessings. You don’t have time for that… or him.
3. He Asks to Touch Your Hair
We know you always look your best, arriving promptly to a dinner date and looking “beat” as always, but there’s nothing more annoying than getting the “I love your hair,” followed by a “curious” pet or tug. This is not a petting zoo and you need to make it clear he may be the one who needs to be caged.
4. He Requests to Have Sunday Dinner With Your Family
You’re still trying to wrap your head around dating someone outside your race, so the thought of introducing Parker, Dev or Enrique to your family’s house may be a situation he may not be able to handle. You’ll know when the time is right. Don’t rush it!
5. He Questions the Authenticity of Your Ethnicity
“What are you?” Nothing good can come from asking this question. It sometimes infers that you’re not just African-American, but your something else because you’re articulate, dress well, or your facial features aren’t what he characterizes as being “Black.” Yep, this would be the appropriate time to look for the closest exit.
Despite these possible scenarios, we do suggest going into interracial dating with an open mind, questioning your own judgments and get to know the person sitting in front of you… more than their race.
TELL US: We’d like to know what you think. Would you consider dating someone who wasn’t Black? Why or why not?