Dear Love Addiction,
I met my current boyfriend last year and we have been inseparable since then. He is a gentleman, is educated, stable, and the nicest guy I have ever met. What I really like most about him is how well he treats me. He is very respectful, loving and affectionate. The only problem is, he is a broken man. He is still coping with his divorce, in which his ex wife cheated on him. I can tell it still hurts him and he finds it very difficult to trust anyone. Every time I mention going anywhere with my girlfriends he gets very uncomfortable, scared and nervous and that in turn causes an argument that ends with me needing space and him in tears. I'm afraid this is something he will never get over and I will have two choices to either deal with it or leave. I know if I just deal with it, I will grow to resent him later. We have talked about it numerous times, but as soon as those feelings come back up in his mind, it goes right out of the other ear. What's a healthy way to approach this situation?

Congratulations on finding a Romeo who treats you as a queen. Trust is a linchpin of any healthy relationship, so you’ll definitely need to improve in order to survive as a couple. However, no need to fear because I have some tips that are certain to empower you to have your Distrusting Romeo stop crying and start giving you the love you so desperately deserve. You have more power than you know and now it’s time to use it to play the trump cards all women are blessed with:

Trump Card #1- Romeo Wants To Trust Again To Feel Like A Success
He realizes that he has to be able to trust in order to have a healthy and functional relationship with any woman. It sounds like he is in love with you so he might as well start trusting you or take responsibility for failing at another relationship. Men hate to fail so help him to succeed bylearning to trust you. Staying at home to keep him secure makes him an emotional baby while trusting you while away affirms his manhood.

Trump Card #2- Stand Your Ground.
Let Romeo know relationships are a two way street and that you deserve a healthy level of trust. Ask him what he needs in order to trust so that you can be a happy couple. Literally, ask him to write a list of what needs to happen in order for him to trust you. Require him to also set a deadline for when he will starttrusting you and then to honor the list he wrote. By having him write steps to trusting you (not call you more than once while you’re gone, etc.) with deadlines you are putting him back in control of his life which is exactly what he needs.

Trump Card #3- Take Baby Steps.
Instead of giving him the difficult task of fully trusting you all at once, give him steps. Ask him what he can commit to in regards to allowing you to spend time with your girlfriends. If he says none then leave because he’s too damaged to be a relationship now. However, if says he can commit to an hour then start there and graduate to higher time away each time. Chances are that he will positively respond andfeel a sense of pride each time he trust you versus playing the crying game and your relationship will improve.

Trump Card #4- Use the Sexiness Card.
There is no better motivator for a man than to make him feel sexually desired. So, give him what he wants by giving you what you want. Instead of shaming or fighting with him, play your most powerful card…the SEXY one. Tell him, “Baby, I feel so sexy, hot and turned on when you trust me when I’m out at dinner with my girlfriends. The more time I spend with them the more I desire you, and I look forward to rewarding you as soon as I get home. I hope you’re hungry...” In essence, make trusting you sexy and reward him passionately with the gift of touch and affection (how far you go us up to you…lol).