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An Alternative Look At The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards

In hysterically unrealistic rumors, Star magazine says Chris Brown and Rihanna are planning a summer wedding. Wait, actually, those two getting married just to piss off the public at large is completely believeable. This wedding, however, is a wee bit sketchy to say the least.

Here’s the story they’re selling:

Chris Brown and Rihanna are planning the wildest nuptials in showbiz history.

“The want tattoo artists, fire breathers and near naked waitstaff,” says a source.

“They’re even talking about having pre-rolled joints at the reception!”

The wedding, which is rumored to be happening in Barbados at the end of July, will be all about swagger, bling and sin,” says the source.

“They want to celebrate their relationship with people who believe Chris has changed.”

Nothing screams “change” like his and her blunts (or do they share, because they are now one?) and prompts to tip your butt naked server.

Meanwhile, Chris Brown has officially confirmed that he and Rihanna are back together.

Speaking directly with Page Six, Chris says, “We are really happy.”

Brown made the comments an Elton John AIDS Foundation bash on Oscar weekend. Brown, who arrived solo, added, “We are back together. She is the most beautiful girl in the world. But I’m sad she couldn’t be here tonight; she is rehearsing for her tour.”

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